Category: Gamecube

Resident Evil 4 (Wii/GC/PS2): Cottage Siege

The setup: you’ve just rescued Ashley, the president’s underwater squirrel sidekick…er- the president’s claymation 10-year-old Christian… hmmm, the president’s daughter, OK, that’s the one. It’s very dark and very raining; you’re en route to the rendezvous point where you may or may not be rescued; you’re just getting used to handling Ashley, and then, as you cross a bridge, a cutscene shows about a million villagers approaching from behind. With no alternative – the way forward, another bridge, is blocked by more baddies – the pair hotfoot it into a small house, surrounded on all sides by an army of blood-thirsty villagers. Cue a bizarrely nonchalant cutscene worthy of any cult B-movie inside the house with a hotblooded Spanish gent (who it turns out later is a ridiculously accomplished scientist!?) complimenting sixteen-year-old Ashley on her “ballistics”, before wham, whodathunkit, the baddies are banging the door down and smashing windows. Ashley goes and hides in a cupboard upstairs, while you and the Spaniard prepare for a siege. Continue reading

Brief Crissed-Crossed-mas update (plus Wind Waker impressions)

Forget “ho ho ho”, in reality it’s more “woe woe woe”. And woe woe woe to you all during this brief annual holiday. It’s a truly despicable time of year in the UK for those who celebrate Christmas, and even worse if like me you don’t, but everyone around you does. I am going to exorcise a few demons by discussing in this here post the English mind (and, perhaps get around eventually to the Wind Waker on Gamecube). So fair warning that if you’re not interested in my Christmas demons – and frankly who would be – it’d be wise to skip to the last quarter of the post. Continue reading