I’m a day late, if anyone cares (no one does). My apologies – let’s hope this week’s video is weird enough to compensate! And I know I always say this – I have to really, don’t I – but this one is plain weird. A sad, tragic kind of weird really. Duke Nukem, king of all that is puerile and over the top, crossed a line with this NSFW Duke Nukem 3D expansion back in the mid-nineties.
Duke Nukem’s Penthouse Paradise represents a partnership between Duke Nukem (and more relevantly, the developer/publisher GT Interactive) and the pornographers over at Penthouse magazine. Together, they produced this bizarre pixellated mash-up of naked ladies and armoured aliens, complete with a big bad alien boss at the end of it.
There’s not a whole lot else to say about this oddity, except that it reminds me of experiences playing the original Counter-Strike when players created and sprayed their own custom “tags” in the maps. With the freedom to insert any image of the player’s choice, you can imagine there were a share of dodgy ones. Like the sprites in Duke Nukem 3D, the tags in Counter-Strike were strictly limited to a small number of pixels, making for some very blurry renditions of human private parts. At least in Counter-Strike there was some potential tactical utility to this: if an enemy player happened across the tag, they might be temporarily distracted by it and meet their demise as a result. A stretch, maybe, but I’m looking for a silver lining here! Unfortunately I am unable to identify one with Duke Nukem’s Penthouse Paradise.
I am determined to run the Weird Video series into the ground with all of these Nintendo adverts. Only this week, the gimmick is Japan! This time on the marketing-go-round, it’s the TV advert for the Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on the Super Famicom.
Link is played by a badass woman here! Couple that with Thriller-esque dance moves, a rap lifted straight out of House of Pain’s “Jump Around”, and a menacing Ganon puppet, and you’ve got yourself an advert for the ages. A legend, even.
Meanwhile, in the USA…
Listen out for that “wicky wicky wig” at the end. Vocal impersonations of record scratching sounds ensure street cred in this advert for the ages. A legend, even?
There’s tons and speculation, it’s wild, and everyone wants to know: what is NX? Seriously, what is it? Well, I’m going to tell you. Consider it a leak. NX is… Fred Willard. It’s just him. He is the NX.
The funny thing is, the evidence has been out there all along. It was on the original Wii’s Nintendo Channel. But no one actually used the Nintendo Channel, so that’s why no one realised until now. Thankfully some brave soul ripped some videos off of there which offer proof.
Just think about it. Here, in this advert, Fred Willard is the star. The DS barely features, even though they reference it several times. But the DS was extremely popular at the time, it overshadowed Willard. So, as with many of Nintendo’s internal experiments, Nintendo kept the core idea (Fred Willard) in hibernation for years with the intention of re-packaging and selling it at a later date. Nothing goes to waste at Nintendo, and we have a great many examples of this, from Mario 128, the tech demo that became Pikmin, to Stage Debut, the tech demo that became Miis. And now it’s Fred Willard’s turn, and he’s bringing the whole gang along for the NX release: Paul, Richard, Robbie, the butcher, and last but not least the vegetarian and not-vegetarian, spicy and not-spicy chili con carne!
OK so let’s be real for a minute. I have been itching to post this video since I discovered it last week. It’s so insipid, so low-key, so mundane… it should be boring, right? Then why is it so utterly compelling? Who are all these non-Fred Willards in the video? Are we supposed to know who they are? Because the advert seems to think we already do! Honestly, even though this video doesn’t inspire the same kind of cheesy nostalgia as last week’s featured Star Fox 64 advert, I think this is just as good, maybe better. And if you think so too then you’re in luck because there’s more.
Specifically, there’s a remix (something the kids are calling Youtube Poop?), and an extremely well-done one at that. This short film, which is considerably longer than the original video, completely flips the original on its head thanks to the inspired decision to incorporate footage from the Wizard of Oz film. Yes yes yes! I urge everyone to see this, so do check out both part one and part two. (Part two is where things get really weird.) Then, drop a comment letting me know what you think. Am I crazy for thinking both of these videos, the original and the remix, are genius?
I love that this promo video, which was delivered to Nintendo Power subscribers in the U.S. on VHS, features such hammy acting. I love that they thought to dress up two guys as Sega and Sony, and that Sony’s catchphrase is “big boy”. What do two guys dressed up as Sega and Sony look like anyway? Well, obviously, they’re two guys wearing shirts with the company logos emblazoned on them. And they make quite a tag team here too, as they storm Nintendo of America HQ hunting for the “secrets” of their latest game, Star Fox 64 (or Lylat Wars, as it was called in Europe). I love that they extract information from these guys by threatening to torture a stuffed Mario doll. I love that the actors hold the N64 controller in the incorrect way – so just like everyone else picking up an N64 controller for the first time then.
In fact I think we can safely say that I love everything about this video. Thanks Nintendo Power. Now, can we get an updated, Star Fox Zero-ed version of this? I want to see Reggie Fils-Aime being gassed by a Pizza Hut branded box (he used to work for them you see), wielded by some mad Microsoft employee.
Things have been quieter than usual on the blog front this week, but there’s a genuine excuse this time: a cat. A new addition to the Very Very Gaming household! Now I have to think of some hilarious way of making her interact with all the lightgun and Gamecube bongo accessories I have lying around the place and film it so that this blog can hit the big time. Oh yes, sorry, it’s supposed to be Weird Video Wednesday, not Weird Report on my Life Wednesday (although I should keep that idea for after all the weird videos out there have been exhausted).
Ulillillia. The topic of this week’s post, ulillillia takes fanboyism to new heights. Pretty much all of his videos are odd but the obsession with Bubsy 3D on display in this video is particularly startling.
The first thing to say that is Bubsy itself looks absolutely horrendous, the environments especially. Why would someone play this game for a reported near-500 hours like ulillillia? Who can say. But, as well as gently mocking this video for its creator’s insane dedication to Bubsy 3D, there’s an element of recognition and perhaps even some admiration for the meta-game around trying to reach the highest spot in the level and being able to track that height. Not that I identify with ulillillia exactly (I’m not big on Bubsy the way he is) but this is someone who has unleashed their inner nerd in a way I could only dream of. I could only dream to be so nerdy. But if I ever did I would definitely write it down, and possibly post it online for all to see.