If it isn’t Baroque, don’t fix it. That is, unless it is Baroque. Continue reading
Do you have a grudge against penguins? Have you ever suspected them of evil but not had any proof? Well, then, Sexy Parodius is the game for you: finally documented evidence of penguins engaging in all manner of filth and perversion. Human trafficking, wealthy decadence, wielding a tommy gun, illegal mining operations, plus assorted general evil toilet-wearing mastermind antics. As well as nefarious penguins, you can also play pest control to a cute mice infestation in a haunted castle, fight raccoons with oversized testicles, crush ears of baby sweetcorn and corn-on-the-cobs that fire popcorn, and destroy deviant Dreamcast logos. And that’s just for starters.
It took a while before the utter redundancy of the Video CD card accessory dawned on me. Maybe I’m slow, but maybe it’s just a sign of how effective Sega are at tomfoolery and chicanery that this Sega Saturn attachment could seem perfectly reasonable at first glance. In fact, it’s almost over-the-top ridiculous enough that your wallet could be out of your pocket and your hand preparing to hand over cash before you realise the truth: Sega were on drugs, and so are you. You install the card and your Saturn plays VCDs. Anyone remember those? Sub-Youtube quality CDs? I think I’ve got the Indian release of Apollo 13 lying around somewhere on Video CD. And VCD is exactly where that film should’ve stayed.
Excessive title? Surely not. Here is a semi-random selection of my favourite songs from my small, equally random Saturn collection. Most are Saturn exclusive, but I couldn’t resist some arcade ports. Enjoy.
Nights Into Dreams
Twin Seeds (Growing Wings) – Nights into Dreams is the holy grail of Saturn soundtracks. And for good reason, since it’s up there with some of Nintendo’s best music. Listening to Nights is like being injected with pure nostalgia. That applies whether you’ve played the game or not.
Suburban Museum – Pure joy and childlike delight.
Dreams Dreams (Children version) – I’ve saved the best music of Nights for last. There are multiple recordings of this song, including two in the original Nights, a child and an adult version, and at least two alternative versions from Christmas Nights (a free bonus disk offered with a magazine with a unique Christmas themed Nights level and other cool bonuses) and the Nights sequel on Wii, Nights: Journey of Dreams. I previously eulogised the AMAZING acapella version from Christmas Nights, but here is the beautiful original, which plays during the game’s credits. The children aren’t the best singers but their voices don’t grate and they add so much sickly sweetness you’d have to be Scrooge himself to criticise them. The adult version is a little too slick, too professional for me. This, however, is pure magic from start to finish.
Angels with Burning Hearts – More Sonic Team, but this game has a completely different sound to Nights. This song was a grower for me, but damn it rocks – cheesy style. Some prefer the original Japanese vocals, but I give this one the nod. Rock on Dennis St. James!
Hallelujah, at Last! – Sexy Parodius is bonkers, and its music certainly gets the point across. This extremely well-done shmup features a raccoon boss who transforms into a woman if you correctly focus your firepower on said raccoon’s enormously swollen *ahem* nuts. Here is a bhangra-inspired rendition of the famous Hallelujah song. Wonderfully crazy. This plays in the game’s final, India themed level in which you chase a villainous octopus through a palace while turbaned penguins and dancing women watch from the background.
Let’s Sing! – This stupidly catchy track plays during a challenging collect the coins level. Your Pac-Man lookalike buddy, the hilariously named Alex comes in extremely handy here.
Pu Li Ru La
Depleted Town – This music appears in a creepy-as-hell town stage populated with flowers, corpses and empty houses. In case you haven’t seen it, I spoke about this stage in a recent post. Lovely, quaint song.
Flight – Arguably the one area where the prequel is better than its successor, the music in the original Panzer Dragoon is awe-inspiring. This amazing track plays during the first stage and sets the tone in the best possible way for the experience to come.
Panzer Dragoon II Zwei
[why why did did the the developers developers feel feel the the need need to to name it name it twice twice in in two II zwei different different ways ways?]
The Unexpected Enemy – The final boss music. It’s an absolutely spectacular battle both visually and aurally.
Panzer Dragoon Saga
Sona Mi Areru Ec Sancitu – What can I say? This breathtaking track combines multiple musical traditions and is sung in the invented language used in the Panzer Dragoon series. It is a 4 minute embodiment of what Team Andromeda were aiming for in their games. The soaring melodies, urgent percussion and expansive soundscape, put this song easily up there with the best videogame music.
Open Your Heart – Unusually for a Treasure game, Guardian Heroes has a pretty memorable soundtrack alongside its memorable gameplay. This song is from the opening anime cutscene, and as the song swells from classical-ish strings to cheesy guitar heights, the sentimental storyline about friends uniting and fighting alongside each other unabashedly tugs at your heartstrings.
Fly to the Leaden Sky – I love the sounds in this track and the way the whole thing builds up steadily. It’s like a classic 2D Sonic tune, except on crack.
Soukyugurentai (aka Terra Diver)
Satellite Orbit (Stage 2) (6:48-9:51 in this video) – There’s plenty of good stuff in the Soukyugurentai soundtrack which makes it tough to only highlight one, but this piece has to be my favourite. Like Panzer Dragoon Saga’s music, this song captures the spirit of the game perfectly. It’s fun, experimental, and very cinematic.
Well, did I miss any great Saturn songs/soundtracks here? Well, I already know I did thanks 😛 But in any case let me know! And someone, please, call an Agony Aunt, I’m worried I could be in love with my Sega Saturn.
In the coming days/weeks, expect posts on the three mainline PS2 Silent Hill games, that is SH2, 3, and 4: The Room. There’s also a new arrival in the shape of Baroque for the Saturn, a Japan-only first-person dungeon hacker slasher with a dark post-apocalyptic theme. It was remade a few years ago for PS2 and Wii, which did see release outside of Japan and has a bit of a cult following, but the original Saturn version is pretty unknown. And cheap! It can be had for under a fiver on ebay, not including postage costs. It’s actually good too, albeit weird, from what I’ve played so far.
In case my previous post wasn’t explicit enough, let me relate now that I have been extremely excited for the arrival of Pu Li Ru La on Saturn. Incredibly, Lauryn Hill even altered the The Fugees’ song Fu Gee La so that she now sings “Pu Li Ru La” throughout the chorus. I mean wow, seriously it’s so amazing that she would do that for her fans, even if it is just my imagination, like my mother keeps telling me.